Post 12 am

The clock strikes midnight once again and here I am thinking well, I survived another day.

I know when I’m up in the morning i will be questioning my existence- why am i still here? The thought of dragging myself through the day putting it’s weight on me.

However this is the time when I am at peace. When everyone is sleeping but I’m the only one who is up.

Where did everything go wrong? Did it all crash at a sudden or were there episodes where I kept falling.

They say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. I don’t think that holds true in my case because everytime I fell, it was more difficult to get up again. And eventually the great fall came when I didn’t even bother standing up again.

There comes a time when you say what’s even the point of trying? That point has come. I’ll just sit here, lie here, wait here as I see the world around me passing by.

I’ll just keep wondering how great it would have been if i was moving along. But I haven’t moved in a while. This stopover, though it is a torture, at the same time it is sort of relaxing.

In the end there are only questions and no clear answers. How long would i be stuck at this stopover? When is the next time that I will move? What is it (if anything) that will motivate me to make a move?

Because it cannot go on like this. Not anymore. Really looking forward to the next stopover, but till then I must move.