Post 12 am

midnight

The clock strikes midnight once again and here I am thinking well, I survived another day.

I know when I’m up in the morning i will be questioning my existence- why am i still here? The thought of dragging myself through the day putting it’s weight on me.

However this is the time when I am at peace. When everyone is sleeping but I’m the only one who is up.

Where did everything go wrong? Did it all crash at a sudden or were there episodes where I kept falling.

They say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. I don’t think that holds true in my case because everytime I fell, it was more difficult to get up again. And eventually the great fall came when I didn’t even bother standing up again.

There comes a time when you say what’s even the point of trying? That point has come. I’ll just sit here, lie here, wait here as I see the world around me passing by.

I’ll just keep wondering how great it would have been if i was moving along. But I haven’t moved in a while. This stopover, though it is a torture, at the same time it is sort of relaxing.

In the end there are only questions and no clear answers. How long would i be stuck at this stopover? When is the next time that I will move? What is it (if anything) that will motivate me to make a move?

Because it cannot go on like this. Not anymore. Really looking forward to the next stopover, but till then I must move.

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4 thoughts on “Post 12 am

  1. We become what we believe. Stop telling yourself you’re stuck. You need to tweak the thoughts in your mind. Everything else will fall into place. Think of yourself as a butterfly, in a dark cucoon, awaiting metamorphosis.

    Liked by 1 person

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